The Inuyasha Puppet Show
by meiwakuxmoni
Summary: What happens when you cross Inuyasha and puppets? Why, Kagome and Shippou's Feudal Puppet show, of course! The duo make an attempt at summing the story, while characters from the series make random appearences.


Shippou: (dragging Inu's arm) C'mon, you gottah see this!

Inuyasha: What the hell are we seeing, exactly..

Shippou: (shoves him in a seat and runs behind the curtain) Just watch it!

change the world starts, as the curtain opens to reveal a puppet stage

Inuyasha: OO WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!

crappily made Inuyasha puppet pops up behind it

Inuyasha puppet: (in high squeaky voice) Welcome, audience, to the first ever Inuyasha puppet show! (bows)

Inuyasha: ...

Inuyasha puppet: (still high and squeaky) Our story begins with me, Inuyasha-sama, walking through the forest. (puppet moves across stage) La de doo. Look at my seksai doggie-ness...

baboon plushie pops up, held in Shippou's hand

Baboon doll (aka Naraku): Lyk, oh em gee, I shall now ruin your life for no damn reason.

baboon goes down and barbie appears, dressed as Kikyou

Kikyou barbie: Haha. I'm a slut. Perish, insolent dog-dude. (tosses toothpick at him)

Inuyasha puppet: No! Kikyou, I love you - even if you are fat and unattractive!

Inuyasha puppet is bonked in the head with the toothpick, and Kikyou barbie goes down

Inuyasha puppet: (growling) Oh, it's on bitch... (pops down)

Inuyasha in audience: ...

Kikyou barbie: (walking) Oh my. I sure hope I don't get killed today.

Baboon doll: Aha! Another life to ruin! (pops down, replaced by Inu puppet)

Inuyasha puppet: (slams into Kikyou barbie) YoudieIrunkaybye! (runs off behind curtain)

Inuyasha: (jumps up in the audience) It didn't happen like that!

Kagome: (from the behind the curtain) Shut up and sit down!

Inuyasha: KEH! (slams down into his chair again)

Fake tree pops up, held in Kagome's hand

Inuyasha puppet: (stands in front of tree, holding a pink gumball) Haha! I stole the jewel. I pwn!

Kikyou barbie: Not so fast. That's mine, bastard! (chucks a blue toothpick at him)

Kikyou walks into the auditorium, staring at Inuyasha, then at the stage.

Kikyou: ...

Inuyasha: Yeah, I'm pretty confused too...

Miroku: (from behind the curtain) LET US FINISH THE GOD DAMN STORY!

Inuyasha and Kikyou: OO;;;;;;

Kagome: (jumps up from behind the stage) Hey! Who invited Little Miss Claypot?

Kikyou-.-;; Not like I didn't notice the big sign reading 'Inuyasha Puppet Show' outside. I needed to see this for myself...

Sesshoumaru: (in the backrow) Yeah, same here. When do I come into this?

Everyone in unison: WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?

Sesshoumaru: That is none of your concern, pathetic mortals. Finish the god damned production.

group sweatdrops

Kagome: ...-yeeah... back to the show!

Inuyasha puppet: (slams into toy tree) Oh no. I'm pinned. Oh shit.

Kikyou barbie: Oh god. I killed him. How fucking retarded am I - he was so cute! (kills self)

Audience: ...

Kagome: (hand pops up, dropping a match on the Kikyou barbie and tossing it into the audience)

Kagome: And thus, the whore was killed.

Kikyou: ...-I'm not a whore, am I...

Kagome plushie: (pops up) Ok, it's fifty years later, and I, the move attractive, sweeter, and overall more awesome-than-the-whore reincarnation of Kikyou, stumble upon a well in my time.

Kagome: ...(whispers) Shippou! The well!

crappily-made paper well pops up

Kagome plushie: On my fifteenth birthday, I was pulled down it, and found a cute inu hanyou pinned to a tree! (points at the Inu plushie)

Sesshoumaru: (snoring in the backrow)

Sango: (chucks Hiraikotsu at his head) DON'T SNORE DURING OUR SHOW!

Miroku: ...-How long has she been here...?

Sesshoumaru: (wakes up, falling off his seat cursing)

Kagome plushie: (having a fit) LET ME FINISH!

Audience: (stares in shock)

Inuyasha: Someone kill me... please...

Kikyou: (pouting) Already tried...

group glare at Kikyou

Kikyou: OO;;;; ... I'll shut up.

Kagome plushie: Good! Ahem. Now...-anyway, I unsealed Inuyasha from the tree, though I'll save you the boring details of how.

Lady Centipede plushie: Oh fine! Cut me out, why don't you!

Inuyasha: (jumps up) YOUKAI! (runs on stage) IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!

Lady Centipede plushie: (disintergrates)

Kagome: (pops up from behind the curtain) YOU'RE ALL RUINING MY FUCKING SHOW! SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SSSSIIIIITTT!

Inuyasha: (slams through the floor of the stage)

Kagome: (glaring at audience, picks up a boulder) ANYONE ELSE GOTTAH' COMMENT?

Kikyou and Sesshoumaru: ..;;; (shake heads)

Inuyasha: (groaning under the stage)

fire starts to spread from the Kikyou plushie that's still on the floor

Group: AAAAAAHHH! PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!

Sesshoumaru: (tosses Jaken into it and it goes out magically)

Sesshoumaru: (smirking) There. Two nuisances killed today...

Everyone else: ...

Sesshoumaru: (sits back down) Continue.

Sango: (to Miroku) Seriously, though. I'm confused. When do we come in?

Miroku: Not for a good few episodes...-damn, they didn't even meet Shippou yet.

Sesshoumaru: (popping between Miroku and Sango) I'm just starting to realize...-why is this whole show about my younger half-brother? Why don't they make me the star - you know, follow my life story, maybe show a bit of my pain and suffering? I wasn't even in the first two movies for more than five minutes! (suddenly hit in the head with a boulder, collapses)

Kagome: (standing with her arrows) I'm going... to kill... you all... Shut up and let me go on!

Miroku and Sango: ...(gulp)

Kagome plushie: Anywhoo, next that happened was Inuyasha got Tetsusaiga! How? Well, the episode pretty much sucked, but him and Sesshie-sama fought over it in their father's body...

Inu and Sesshie puppets appear

Inuyasha puppet: Mine!

Sesshoumaru puppet: No! MINE!

Kagome plushie: (holding toy Tetsusaiga) I pulled it out. Why can't I keep it?

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru puppets: D: 

Kagome plushie: ... (hides behind Inu puppet) Well, since this whole series involves me being an obsessive stalker, I'll give it to him. Here you go, buddy.

Inuyasha puppet: Aha! Now I shall smite you!

Sesshoumaru puppet: (vanishes, replaced by a giant dog doll)

Sesshie dog doll: No! I shall eat you, fucker.

Inuyasha puppet: TETSUSAIGA! (swings)

Sesshie dog doll: (left arm falls off) ...-oh shit.

all puppets go down, replaced again by Kagome plushie

Kagome plushie: See. Boring, huh?

Sesshoumaru: (waking up) What'd I miss...

Kikyou: Probably the only scene they involve you in...

Sesshoumaru!#& (hit by another boulder, falls over again)

Inuyasha: (holding two other boulders, shifty eyes) ...-Wasn't me.

Kagome plushie: Eventually, we met Shippou. Basically all that happened was his parents were killed, so he tried to take our shards and get revenge...-

Shippou: WAIT A SECOND! WE DIDN'T EXPLAIN ABOUT THE SHARDS!

Kagome plushie: ...(sigh) We didn't, did we? Ok. Cue the giant bird!

bird plushie is tossed up

Kagome plushie: Some crappin' bird stole the jewel, swallowed it, so when I shot an arrow at it, it blew up, skattering shards among the land. (nod nod)

Miroku: So basically, this whole fucking thing was Kagome's fault. :)

Sango: (moves away from Miroku slowly)

Miroku: Huh? Where you goin- (crushed by a flying boulder)

Kagome: (standing up next to Inuyasha, who's now holding only one boulder)

Kagome-.-;; Continue the story.

on the puppet stage again ...

Shippou puppet: Next we met Miroku. In the first episode with him, he tried feeling up Kagome and...-

Inuyasha: SHIPPOU! Can we exclude that and keep going! OO;;;;

Shippou puppet: ... He's jealous. I know it. Anyway, Miroku has a wind tunnel in his right hand, and...-

Inuyasha: I'M NOT JEALOUS!

Kagome: Sit, boy.

Inuyasha: KEH! (slams down, the boulder landing on his back)

Shippou: (sweatdrops, holding up his puppet again)

Shippou puppet: Miroku is a pervert. He's always asking girls to bear his children, even though we all know him and Sango make such a cute couple.

Miroku: (stands up, strangling Shippou)

Sango: (sits in the corner, blushing)

Kagome plushie: Then there was Sango. Naraku tricked her village into coming to slay a demon, then took control of her brother and made him kill everyone else! To make matters worse, he blamed Inuyasha, and Sango came after him with anger...

Inuyasha: Hmph. Got that right...

Sango: ;;;;;

Kagome plushie: But when she did learn the truth, we all became friends!

Kagome plushie, Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango puppets all hug, the Shippou plushie abandoned on the ground, as the puppeteer using it is strangled by a monk

Sango: (leans towards Kagome) Do you intend on introducing Kouga...

Kouga: (runs in, arms crossed) Hey look! A Kagome plushie! (picks it up and glomps)

Everyone: ... oo;;;;

Kikyou: And she calls ME a slut?

Sesshoumaru: (waking up again) Not to mention her affair with that kid in her own time...

Inuyasha: WHAT?

Kagome: (sweatdrops)

Miroku: (still strangling Shippou)

Sesshoumaru and Kikyou: (pointing and laughing at Inuyasha and Kagome)

Sango and Kirara: (baking cookies!)

Kouga: (sits in the center of the floor, glomping the Kagome plushie)

Naraku and Kagura walk in, blinking

Kagura: ...Why do I have a feeling we missed the show?

Naraku: (looks at burning Kikyou barbie) NOOOOOOOO!

Naraku: (dives on it and hugs the melted toy)

Kagura: (looks at Naraku) ...-I hate you. You realize that, right?

Naraku: (still hugging the toy) Awwwh. But I hold your heart. 3

Kanna walks in, holding up her mirror

Kanna: (in monotone childish voice) The end.

Inuyasha: WHAT? THAT WAS THE SHITTIEST SHOW EVER!

Shippou: (gasping for breath)

Sango: (looks up from her cookies) I'm still confused, you know.

Kirara: MEW!

Kagome: (hands on her hips) It's not like this show makes sense, anyways...

Sesshoumaru: I'm going home... (walks off)

Miroku: (finally let go of Shippou) So... how do we end this?

Kagome: ...Wait! I have...-an idea!

everyone tear off their clothes, dressed in dazzling white tuxedos and dresses

Inuyasha: (accidently in a dress) Oh, what the fuck. Let's just kill the writer...

Miroku: YEAH! Maria's on crack!

Everyone else: YEAH!

Maria: WHAT? Oh shit... (runs)

Maria: And that's all for... (hit by a boulder)

Inuyasha: I WIN!

...-And thus, you have a story created by a crack addict. 3


End file.
